alextoad

I am known as ALEX THE LION!!!
I was brought up by Lions in the apple centre of Australia so i ate extremely well. I have a bushy main, a drooping ball sack, a deep roar, deadly hearing and violent eyes which can see my dinner for the week after. My smelling senses are also top of the range. I also have terrific hand and eye coordination and agility and the ability to type on a computer. I struggle to write but technology these days will defeat the purpose of a pen.
I’m a keen fisher, i like a good poo but more importantly i love to play sport. Football and Cricket are at the top of the agenda but i might be able to sneak in a quick game of carpet bowls to show off my skills. My anger problem has banned me from many games… who says that you can’t bite someone’s leg off when they call you the local retard. Well MIKA knows what i’m taking about… oh.. and stop picking on DOZZA’S dad, MIKA. RAAAAARRRRRR!!!
The one bad thing about running around the mountain side is this dickhead known as RICHO. He’s always hurting himself while he tries to hunt me down but he also catches my food on the odd occasion, the notorious DEER. (Pronounced D-EAR)
I once had sex with the Sutton Grange/Mount Alexander panther, jaguar or what ever but i killed it. Thats why they don’t call me PINNY.
When i was younger i mistaken a kangaroo for a lion and rooted it sideways. I then defeated it in the ring with a four round boxing match. He went down in 2 rounds after i collected him with a fresh hit straight into the baby maker.
Funny enough, the lions were complete pussies so i had to hunt for my own meals and defend male lions from my den. I have 2 cubs and have eaten a human before. Thats why all of the teams in my area are name after my family… the Harcourt Lions.
HEAR US ROAR!!!!!!