Xendarc

AAA’s resident Satanist/Witch Doctor. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife.

Rigor_Mortis: Xen knows the truth™

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I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 9…

Pinwheel:No one is dumb enough to drink pertol except like… 9 year olds
Ywasibanned:“Chinese boy drinks petrol to become a transformer-robot”
Ywasibanned:Yerp.
Pinwheel:was he 9?
Ywasibanned:Probably not nine after his brain melted.
Pinwheel:“A Chinese boy from Xingwen in eastern China aged 9 has been admitted to hospital after drinking petrol in order to become a Transformer robot.”
Pinwheel:F*CKING KNEW IT.
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NICO TEACHES 1337SNAKE SOME DECENCY…

1337snake: Hi.
Nicomagi: DAMNIT SNAKE CAN’T YOU SEE WE’RE TRYING TO FAP HERE
1337snake: Oh…. SOrry.
Nicomagi: HAVE SOME DECENCY AND CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!
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THIS TIME IT’S PERSONAL…

Kitezer: Okay.
Kitezer: Unmuted.
MysticMania: does kong notify you if youve been muted?
Kitezer: Yeah.
God_Warmonger: not personal mutes
God_Warmonger: but mod ones
Kitezer: Yeah.
Kitezer: And this time.
Kitezer: It’s personal. (⌐■_■)
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SHITPUKE TSUNAMI…

joebob23: the diarrhea didnt come from my mouth
ntrht: Yes it did.
joebob23: the mixture happened outside of my body
joebob23: i just launched liquid from both ends
joebob23: and it created a shitpuke tsunami wave
joebob23: that crashed down around you
joebob23: shitpuke tsunami waves are the worst
ntrht: Wtf
ntrht: Sounds like touhou
joebob23: there are shitpuke tsunami waves in touhou?
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THE CORRECT ANSWER IS: ASS…

ilove69ers: Life is all about ass Swanky
Xendarc: ^
Swankypickle: Unless they’re donkey. Then they carry things.
ilove69ers: either your kicking it, getting yours kicked, kissing it, or getting yours kissed
Swankypickle: Asses are confusing.
ilove69ers: either you’re sitting on it
ilove69ers: or trying to get a piece of it
ilove69ers: life is all about ass
ilove69ers: This has been ilove69ers
ilove69ers: your guide to the universe
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WHAT A.A.A. REALLY STANDS FOR…

iThomaz: AAA is a black people-only room
JezusPanem: xD
JezusPanem: niqqer room
IcyHearts: but but…
JezusPanem: xD
IcyHearts: im white….
iThomaz: Afro-American Anarchists
Stalcloud: Yeah you’re looking for KKK, this is AAA.
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THE ILLUMINATI ARE EVERYWHERE…

ilove69ers: Contrary to popular belief, Joebob is actually a member of the lollipop guild
Xendarc: They’re everywhere
ilove69ers: Contrary to other popular beliefs
Xendarc: like the Illuminati
ilove69ers: Xendarc is not
ilove69ers: he might be an oompa loompa, but he is not a member of the lollipop guild
Xendarc: I was kicked out
GenOneZom: for what?
Xendarc: for disorderly behaviour resulting in 1 casualty
JCCW: cannibalism, in other words.
ilove69ers: he licked the ‘lollipop’
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HIPSTERNESS…

Kittyness: You cant spell and your retorts are basicly the “Im rubber your glue”
Xendarc: Kitty
Kittyness: Yes?
Xendarc: please don’t rubber my glue
Xendarc: I need it
Kittyness: Im still not going to say your as you’re
Xendarc: why?
Kittyness: I dont know.
Xendarc: just for the sake of non-conformity?
Xendarc: you hipster, you
Kittyness: Well I am partially foreign so…
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RE-POO…

Kafaz: im not in the mood for your 12 year old shit kite
Ace1263: kite took a 12 year old shit?
Ace1263: ew
Kitezer: im not 12 tho
Ace1263: no
Xendarc: no, he shit 12 years ago
Xendarc: and still has it
Ace1263: He puts it back in.
Ace1263: It’s a souvenir.
Xendarc: it’s a re-poo?
Ace1263: Yes.
Ace1263: Thank you.
Ace1263: I could not have said it better.
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HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK?…

Fallacia: Yellowstone is like, south Montana
Tolni: For sure!
Fallacia: I think
Fallacia: I don’t have a map handy
Tolni: What if the volcano explodes?
Xendarc: I want to build my house right ontop of it
Tolni: And kills all the Jews?
Xendarc: so if shit goes down
Xendarc: I can let you guys know right away
Tolni: Won’t we get in trouble?
Xendarc: :)
Tolni: Yes, your burning carcass will be both satisfying and educational!
Xendarc: exactly
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DICKBALL…

Tolni: It was that Mayan (or was it Aztec) where
Tolni: a 2 pound ball
Tolni: was ran around the field…
Tolni: with their dicks.
Xendarc: are you f*cking serious?
Tolni: It was a very socially important event
Tolni: Search Wikipedia.
Xendarc: is it a penalty if the balls touch?
Xendarc: or is that just gay?
basherrr: only during the bonus round
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FOR GREAT JUSTICE…

shan14den: Hello Fallacia if you are there.
Xendarc: I speak for Fallacia
Xendarc: he wishes you to leave this place
Xendarc: you are henceforth banished
Xendarc: goodbye
A0M1N: Yes, obviously that guy is in charge
shan14den: Allright then.
shan14den: Off to the next room!
Kitezer: Great work Xen
Kitezer: You’re hereby promoted to dispense the King’s Justice
Xendarc: I fight for great justice!
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ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED…

darkChaos23: Pica (/ˈpaɪkə/ py-kə) is characterized by an appetite for substances that are largely non-nutritive, such as paper, clay, metal, chalk, soil, glass, or sand.1
Xendarc: There’s a woman in the UK who’s addicted to drinking whiteout fluid
Xendarc: MMMM CHEMICALS
ZukaZamamee: If I remember right there was one guy who ate an entire goddamn airplane in the 60s
Xendarc: 4srs?
rehm123: wtf am i reading
Du8k: illuminati comfermed
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PORN THROUGHOUT THE AGES…

Xendarc: Here you can see ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs that depict various acts of anal insertion
Dathouen: I have
Xendarc: you have?
Dathouen: “I have here a early papyrus depicting the use of an ox powered vibrator”
Xendarc: for some reason, in my mind, an ancient treadmill is somehow involved
Dathouen: lol
Dathouen: like something out of the flintstones
Xendarc: rofl
Xendarc: I’m sure there’s already a porno of it then
Xendarc: or should I say
Xendarc: Historical reenactment
Dathouen: lol
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TELLING YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOU’RE GAY…

kngrgte: guys wat should i txt my gurrl rite now
Xendarc: text her that you really appreciate her booty
Retrun: Something about how you want to lock her away from her family and **** her mouth
sopimusicianTWO: “eeyyyy yo, lemme get a picatchu”
kngrgte: ─_─
sopimusicianTWO: text her that she reminds you of a fresh spring day, and that each time you see her she re-energises the force which you sustain yourrself off of. Without her you would shrivel up into obscurity
sopimusicianTWO: Then come out as gay to her
Retrun: Tell her that you had to ask an internet chat room what to say to her because you couldn’t come up with anything
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CYAN CAT STRIKES AGAIN…

pinktool: ofc so is gettin rick rolled & cyan cat
VoidedVexx: nyan cat*
Xendarc: cyan
Xendarc: lol
pinktool: yeah see imm a nub
Xendarc: Ross Rolled
Xendarc: lul imma ross roll you
Xendarc: you got ross rolled
pinktool: hahaa
pinktool: i got rick ross rolled
Xendarc: sounds like something you buy at a bakery
Xendarc: ross roll
pinktool: yes, any ross rolls left sir
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PORN IN HD…

Xendarc: smb, you should buy an office lap top for all ur games
Xendarc: that way you will suck and not be able to upgrade
Xendarc: and it will be just like a console
NotAWoman: it can do porn too
Xendarc: oh yeah
NotAWoman: that’s a feature
Smb99: lol
Xendarc: That’s a feature you want
Smb99: xen
NotAWoman: max settings 1080p porn
PenguinArmy: want to see every crease
Xendarc: every drop of moisture
kngrgte: every peach fuzz on her ass
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9/11 WAS AN JET LI JOB…

Kitezer: the scene where the jet fuel melts steel beams is a nod towards the fact that some people think they aculy can
Kitezer: ye
tinidor: wow kite
tinidor: are you saying that jet li
tinidor: can’t melt steel memes
Kitezer: oh
Kitezer: afk
tinidor: wow kite you losr
tinidor: come back here
Xendarc: come back and fight
wolfie43: jet li is a girl, she’s scary to him
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PLS…

Katiepotatie115: Hope you’re safe
hamish111555: katie pls
Katiepotatie115: please what?
Xendarc: pls
Xendarc: katie.
Katiepotatie115: Can you please explain? I’m not getting it.
hamish111555: pls
Xendarc: pls
Valunter: pls
thealexman1: pls
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WUT…

Xendarc: That was when I broke my collarbone
Xendarc: there’s an injury I almost forgot about
dbay44: thats cool
dbay44: break more shit idiot
Xendarc: clean snap
Xendarc: yeah dbay
dbay44: lmfao
Xendarc: enjoy life in your mom’s basement
dbay44: oh i am
Xendarc: you get enough beans down there?
dbay44: and corn ;)
dbay44: hang on my mom is calling for me
Xendarc: she probably wants more sex
Xendarc: you know how moms are
team_jam: Yeah my mum is always bugging me about that.
team_jam: Glad it’s not just me.
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I THOUGHT IT WAS A URINAL…

Xendarc: for some reason, pissing in the sink is fun
thealexman1: agreed xen
aspyderwebb: ew, xen
monkofpo1: True
alexSnIpAr: agreed. xD
Rigor_Mortis: nice
aspyderwebb: pissing in the sink is unsanitary af
monkofpo1: Who cares
monkofpo1: When you get drunk