slicerxd

Captain Dickson: Gentlemen, you’re not gonna sit here
[places pistol down on desk]
Captain Dickson: & pretend there’s not a big-ass elephant in the room.
Jenko: [confused] What the fuck is going on?
Captain Dickson: [turns picture frame on desk around, revealing a photo of Maya] This is what the fuck is going on!
Jenko: [looks at the picture confused, looks at Schmidt, then back at the picture as he realizes] OH SHIT! Oh Shit!
[laughs hysterically at Schmidt]
Jenko: Oh shit! No! That is not happening right now!
[exits office]
Jenko: No!
[to coworkers, exchanging high fives]
Jenko: Hey ya’ll he’s fucking the captain’s daughter! Yo! Oh my FUCK!
Captain Dickson: [as Jenko is laughing outside office, to Schmidt] Every time, he says that shit? That’s another foot in your ass!
Jenko: [outside office] Schmidt! You clearly… yo, this is the best thing ever!
[laughing]
Jenko: Schmidt fucked the captain’s daughter!
[sing-song]
Jenko: Schmidt fucked the captain’s daughter! Schmidt fucked the captain’s daughter!
Jenko: [re-enters office] Shit! Fuck!
[to Schmidt]
Jenko: You fucked Captain Dickson’s daughter? Captain? What the fuck, you bragged to him to his face! To his actual face, the captain, do you understand that this face
[pointing to Captain Dickson’s angry face]
Jenko: right here! You bragged to that face!
Jenko: [to Captain Dickson] You actually high-fived Schmidt for fucking your daughter? Holy Shit! Oh my God, this is…
Captain Dickson: [picks pistol up and places it back on the desk, with the barrel facing Jenko]
Jenko: [composing himself] It’s really not that funny.