megafly19

As a small boy, my parents sent me off to Communist Russia to train in the arts of Tetrisizing, a skill very few have mastered. I managed to escape the warehouses they had us stacking the boxes in after a freak accident involving a train, a stick of gum, and the conductors sphincter. I hitchhiked to Ireland, and after a drunken tyrade, wound up in a gutter on the west coast of Canadia. I met with a local witch doctor who lived in Canadia but knew english as well as the local language of Maple. He found me a home in the sweatshops of Hell’s Kitchen in New York, where I made brain tumors for healthy people. After a raid by NYPD, I managed to escape again, this time the accident involved the Chief of Police’s sphincter. I got to Philadelphia, where I discovered a place where people like me would Kongregate.