CanadianRiceMan

Ryan Bailey was a kid who was running up the hill of happiness until, Fate stretched its leg and tripped him; hitting the bottom of the hill in an abrupt THUMP. On May 24, 1978, while many people were watching “Dawn of the Dead”, Mr. and Mrs.Bailey were practicing “repopulating the Earth”. Two months in the womb was all that Mrs.Bailey could take so she decided to have an abortion; yet, God’s abomination managed to survive. Living off the stale pastries that Dunkin’Donut drops off every tuesday, Ryan lived in the dumpsters for eight years. On September 30, 1986, while running away from a knife-fight against a hobo, Ryan accidently runs inside an orphange. He stayed there until the right age. At age 18, the newly potty trained Ryan leaves the orphanage. A few steps later, he was hit by a car…..TO BE CONTINUED