ApolloLE

PREVIOUS ACCOUNTS: Link7798, Sunurcan

Hello, I am Apollo. Today, I shall instruct you on how to find the cake, for it actually is not a lie. First, find 30 light gems in the various realms to open the Rapportal. Here, you will have to rap with fruits and various other things. After pwning them with your rapping powers, you will have to challenge the Devil to a guitar-duel. Activate star-power and simply win. After this, you will have to battle a giant armored dragon named Ridley. You may lose here, so go back to Pewter City and level up to 0VAR 9000!. You should evolve into Nyan cat at this point, and also obtain a shard of the triforce. After defeating Ridley in the Darkice Mines, do a barrel roll. Travel north for a while until you reach the Mushroom Kingdom. You will have most likely died at this point, so collect 100 rings for an extra life. Defeat the giant Dino-turtle to move on into the dangerous realm of Sephirothiness. Get an extra big-ass sword and obliterate him with an Omni-slash. Here, you will be sucked into another portal, which leads to Vice City. Kill some hookers, shoot a cop, look around in his car, and you will find the cake.

+4,829 exp.
LEVEL UP!
+2 DEX.
+3 AGI.
+2 CHA.
+5 SP.
+30 HP.

Derp.