AK58's Comments

I'm awfully confused as to how the stock market functions when everyone in the world is dead.

Why can't I customise the guy in the armory? C'mon, I got to change everyone else on my crew, why can't I change him?

I like how the amount of people who've been caught is shown by the number of skeletons in the dungeon (except for one that is already there). I just kept catching everyone (even the good butler) until the floor was just covered with a pile of skeletons, and eventually interesting things started happening. A skeleton got a party hat, another skeleton got a champagne glass, and somebody wrote "why don't you trust anybody?" on the wall. Nothing happened when I caught someone after that, not even another skeleton showing up. I think I reached the limit.

You don't see many games on kongregate dropping f-bombs, that's for sure. I guess that makes this game rather rare.

As someone who wants to get all the pieces of equipment, I hate the drop rates SO MUCH. When I kill an enemy, they almost always drop a piece of equipment that I already have. I must have killed the chef in the first area at least 50 times before he dropped his shield.

So THAT'S what Max Payne would be like if he was schizophrenic. I guess I learned something today. And for the record, I wasn't surprised by the ending. I've come to expect that sort of thing from any game from Adult Swim Games.

I can't really give this game an honest review because the controls aren't working properly for me, and they keep getting me screwed over. I tap the 'a' key once to move a little bit to the left, and the game interprets that s HOLDING the 'a' key, causing me to run to the left, which often results in my death. By the way, this happens with ALL the keys on my keyboard for this game. I'm sure other people aren't having this problem, but there's something wrong on my end.

Here's a quick tip: When the time compressor is active, it doesn't slow down the fire rate of ANY of your weapons. This means that the minigun's effectiveness is increased an IMMEASURABLE amount due to it not being slowed down. Use the viper and any other two vehicles with miniguns, then activate the time compressor and just point at something if you want it to leave you alone.

Here's a quick tip: your 'Health' is based off of what still functions on your car, and will go down if you rip off one of the parts in your car. So, if you rip off all the buttons on the dashboard just for fun, you're pretty much ripping off your health. Take it from me, the guy who (at this time) has the all-time high score on this site.

It say's here that there's an achievement for dying before the 'everyday work' chapter. Well, have fun playing with the knives, kiddo!

Oh, what's this? A brand new vehicle with absolutely NO modifications? Well, I'll just completely abandon my old, fully upgraded vehicle that's WAY faster than the non-upgraded new one is. Yeah, great call, moron...

'Uh, your highness?' 'Yeah?' 'Your daughters have been... kidnapped...' 'Ah, dang. How many?' 'Uh, all of them...' 'Really? All 10? Well that's not good.' 'You had TEN DAUGHTERS!?' 'Okay, one: That's none of your business, chump. And two: where'd they get taken to?' 'I... uh... some tower, I think.' 'Well, send Sir Gunpowder after 'em.' 'But sire, Sir Gunpowder only has leather boots, a tunic, a helmet made of stone, and a wooden sword.' 'Yeah? Well he's also got a ROCKET. What do those other knights have?' '...Adequate equipment...' 'Ah, screw you. If you're gonna object, I'll write the damn letter myself.'

Well, so much for 'the pedestrian has the right of way'. And my legs. My legs are gone too.

Dang, you missed the PERFECT opportunity to make the robot say something at the end that would make it seem like he knew that this was it would all end. Something along the lines of 'I'm sorry you had to see this', or 'I guess I should have told you' would have been great.

I hit the 'detonate' before even looking at the other buttons to see if it would let me just blow the bomb right away. I was not disappointed. Nice David Bowie reference, by the way.

Hey, uh, Prudence, I know that your weapon of choice is throwing the seemingly endless supply of squeaky chew toys for your dog, but did you really have to bring the ACTUAL DOG!? Hey, I'm just saying, this place doesn't exactly seem like the best place to bring a terrier.

I really like how when you run out of ammo, you can still shoot with low damage, short range pellets so that you can still defend yourself. Well, you can SORT of defend yourself with it. Okay, you can ALMOST defend yourself, but at least it's not useless. FINE, IT MAKES A 22. POCKET PISTOL LOOK LIKE AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE. BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, IT MAKES YOUR ENEMIES SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

When I picked up the axe, first thing I did after that was I tried using it on myself. I mean, hey, the monster can't hurt anyone if the monster kills itself, right? I mean, I don't think that just a regular axe can kill a werewolf, but hey, can't hurt to try. Silver shmilver, I say.

I, the chef, feel that it is important to let you, the customer, know that during the delivery of your meal, not only did your hamburger land on the ground 32 times, it was also frozen, set on fire several times, slammed downwards by a flying anvil, carried on a kite, used as a projectile to smack 16 people in the face, shot with live ammunition multiple times, and sent into low orbit. Please enjoy your meal. P.S. There is a large magnet in your burger that I highly recommend removing before attempting to eat the sandwich.

I'd like to point something out: in 'Team Survival' if the player runs out of lives, the game ends immediatly. But the thing is, it doesn't somehow simulate the rest of the match (that would probably be tricky to code) or even automatically make the player's team lose, it simply ends the game, with whichever team was in the lead at the time winning instantly, no matter who was left with how many lives. That means that to beat a team survival stage, you don't HAVE to deplete ALL of the other teams lives, you just have to get a good, solid lead and then jump off the map until you run out of lives, giving you a reduced-effort win. Oddly enough it's how I beat the last level (by accident, of course. I didn't REALLY commit mass suicide). I don't know if this is a bug or whatever, but it's kinda cheap.